Plans for 14 Dec 2012

Hubby says this year 14 Dec 2012 we're going to Winter Wonderland London 2012 !!!

Soooooooo excited! 

Magical Kingdom, Giant Observation Wheel, Santa Land + Kiddie Rides, Food and Shopping at Xmas Market! 

We will be spending whole day there, 10am to 10pm YAY~!

Wagamama Experience

Last Saturday went out gai gai with Hubby, we went to a new bigger chinese supermarket near Piri Piri area and ended up with a number of heavy bags.. Hubby took most of it and the whole day was raining.... so uncomfortable... 

Then we also went to boots to smell fragrance (he wanna buy me fragrance for my xmas pressie but wanna ensure I chose my favourite bottle + smell), we also bought a lot of food item from Poundland. 

But what makes the tiring us happy is we entered Wagamama and had a lovely hearty meal.. 

A relatively big japanese restaurant with long table setting.. 

Also got special place to hang our coat and place our bags.

Service was good, Hubby made special order and it was fulfilled. The waitress still bother to ask us how is our food after she see us eating it.. 

Hubby had Pork Ramen..And I had Teriyaki Salmon Ramen..

My Teriyaki Salmon Ramen in Spicy Miso Soup.. 

The soup was super good and tasty but doesn't taste unhealthy with lotsa MSG, because I didn't felt thirsty after eating the whole bowl of ramen.. 

Ramen noodle was QQ, the big piece of Teriyaki Salmon was fresh and very generous! 

The egg a bit fail cos the yolk is fully cooked instead of watery.. But not too bad though.

There's some other small little ingredients in the bowl of ramen that were all very yummy as well.

A bowl of good tasty hot ramen in cold rainy days is such a bliss.... 

Price wise, around 10pounds for one bowl of ramen.

Location: Good

Service: Good

Food Quality: Very Good

Price: Average (considering the generous portion and freshness of food, but still consider high end..)

But once in awhile is worth it! My stomach very comfortable after eating it.. :)

And Hubby agreed that it was great and we both will be back again! 

Considering the price, we will probably aim to eat this once a month.. haha! 

PS: Currently into HK drama.. watching 姳媛望族 & 万凰之王.

DOJO little eatery

Raining heavily last night, super cold, but still manage to meet Hubby at market square to go to DOJO for dinner..

Had some trouble looking for the restaurant but luckily we manage to find it.. it is a relatively small restaurant, seats are all so close together.. So maybe thats why they encourage people to Take-Away, by giving 10% discount for Take-Away.. But the portion won't be as big as compared to dine in.. so end up the same leh I feel.. haha.

The meal was quite worth it! Better than Tian Tian (Seven Days) ala cart menu definitely, which cost us 29pound the last time..

Yesterday at DOJO we spend only around 12pound for both of us, and the main course portion were HUGEEEE...

Luckily I saw the review online before going and took the advise of ordering one main course to share for 2 people..

End up we finish all the food nicely for both and not feeling too bloated.

Side Dish: Nikku Gyoza.. Okok only..

Huge portion of Pad Thai.. just nice for 2 to share.. Served pipping hot, yummy too! Better than market square that Vietnamese fry noodle!

Finally we got something "new" to eat other than LAN HONG HOUSE.. haha.. XD

After dinner we rush back home because the weather was sooooo cold really cannot tahan..

Our Wedding Planner - ROM

I always thought that professional paid Wedding Planner and Wedding Coordinator are people who are trained to ease your worries and are really reassuring, but my experience wasn't really that way..

I am quite a perfectionist, I use to console myself this way "Lower your expectation in people so that you will not be disappointed."

But now I feel that I should be more forgiving and appreciative towards people's effort, even if you feel that they didn't try hard enough. 

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Wedding was quite a stressful and crazy moment for us.. (I think even to most people)

Initially we thought that it should be very simple because we have lots of time (slightly more than a year), and we only want to hold a small ROM ceremony to invite immediate family, some close friends and colleagues. 

I wanted a fairytale like kind of wedding, very romantic..dreamy and be Princess for a day.. I think this is what most girls wanted for their wedding haha. 

I had an rough idea of what kind of theme I want, but I do not know where to start.. 

Then I met DDW, I sign up their service because I thought that wedding planner can guide me along so that I will not make wrong decisions on stupid mistakes, discuss ideas with me on the decor and help us to maximize our budget.. 

But I must say it was not that easy.. I had a lot of worries in between when coordinating with them because they were so busy with other couples. =X

Sorry to say that but that was really how we felt at that time.. 

They were so busy we hardly see any progress on our wedding preparation, sometimes we couldn't reach them and many times they can't even meet their own dateline and we have to remind them and chase for their reply.. 

There wasn't much assurance and everything was unclear, we wasn't really sure what to expect, we felt like we had so much time at first but have also wasted so much time waiting for them to act.

We can only keep asking question to make things clear at our end, and try to fix as much as possible to form it into "our wedding". We are quite disappointed that most of the replies and ideas they gave to us were "copied" or "templates".  

I have so much ideas, I did research and specifically tell them what I want.. but in the end can't really work them out.. 

 Most of the stuff they offered to us were also quite expensive, we thought that they could help to "source" for cheaper ones or suggest more different options for us in order to maximize our budget, but that was not really the case.. in the end we stretched our budget because we really want it to be perfect.

I felt that towards the whole wedding, we didn't have enough understanding and discussion.. I didn't know what they can/can't do, and they didn't really understand our needs.. 

I did the DIY cards for our wishing table because I wanted something more "customized" at low cost and I'm really happy with the result.. 

Arranging cheesy and ah lian to throw the flowers upon announcing man & wife because Hubby was informed last min by Lily that our JOP don't practice march out.. (we wasn't even sure until the day itself..lacking communication.)

It felt kinda screw up at some point, 

but luckily they manage to deliver something out in the end.. the decor was beautiful.. 

And I know they manage to solve the non-light-able candles on the table due to the fan, replacing it with LED candles.. Maybe on the day itself have more other hiccups which they manage to fix it and I didn't know too..

The service on the day was great, no big hiccups and the event went on smoothly.. 

I remembered having a discussion with Hubby, he was worried that DDW might screw up our wedding  (eg. wrong flowers, because we only finalized the flower 1-2 days before the actual ROM day) lol.. 

And I told him that I don't care how much worries and poor service they had given me for the 1 whole year of preparation time as long as on our actual ROM day they gave me the decor we agreed on and the event run smoothly with no hiccups, then I will feel that the money paid to them are worthy already..

So I must say that regardless of what kind of process we've been through previously..

They still deliver what they promise in the end.

December happenings and no more Monday Blues!

Waking up feeling so blessed that I can escape 2 years of Monday Blues.. hee. 

So looking forward to Dec, all the Happening! 

Cambridge Chicago Musical with Hubby, London Les Miserables Musical with Hubby, Kim and her friend, My birthday, Hubby birthday, Christmas (hopefully a WHITE one!), Edinburgh Trip and our 1st new year countdown in UK! :D

Sooooo exciting and different!

I feel so happy when I see the trees from the road towards Market Square changes from green to red, then happy again when it change from red to yellow, and then happy again when it change from yellow to botak.. making me guess what will be next? Feeling amazed by how the season/weather can do to this place! 

I think I just love to have some changes in my life. I tend to feel bore or upset when my life become like a routine, everyday the same with nothing change at all.

In SG is like that, it is hard to be constantly romantic if you're not rich in SG.. because SG is soooo small! Not many nice "free" or "cheap" places for couple to go..

And with the hot weather, it is hard to stay comfortably outdoor. Cooling, nice, fun or romantic indoor places all required money... so that is why I say in SG if you're not rich, it is hard to be constantly romantic.

Back then before we came to UK, Hubby always try to buy me small treats now and then to surprise me, send beautiful flowers to me, or spend money to bring me to special place to eat/see once in awhile so that our life won't be so bore.. We also go watch movies sometimes, sing Kbox, swimming and most of the time we do food hunting.. lol.

He will keep rotating the places we can go together (most of the time to "eat") so that we won't repeat it so soon.. With soooo much effort to makes me feel special. 

Watching movies in cinema is one of the very common dating thing for couples to do in SG. Don't know where to go? Then watch movie. 

I remember watching 3 movies in a row when I was still studying because don't know where else to go.. didn't try hard enough lol. 

But now I don't really like to spend so much time watching movies in cinema with Hubby unless its some good movie we really wanna watch. I feel that people don't really get bonded by watching movie in a dark cinema without talking and eye contact. It is like wasting money trying to past time..I want my date better than that. 

Anyway, I enjoy taking slow walk watching the changing scenery here with Hubby, chit chat, joke and laugh..with cold wind blowing on my face and watching hot air blow out of my mouth. 

This is what $$ cannot buy and I super love it!


I guess Hubby will love how easily he can makes me happy here without even trying.. haha!

Why I shit more in UK

LOL I really feel amazed by how easily I can shit here than when I was in SG.. 

I shit at least one time per day, usually twice, sometimes thrice.

And it came out so easily I don't really need to "gek" at all LOL!

I told Hubby about it and he laughed and says "Maybe because you have no stress now?" 

YES I agree! I've never been so Stress-less! REALLY, I'm stress all the way ever since I can talk (family stress, home-bully, school-bully, poor grades, relationships & friendship hiccups, money, work).. It doesn't give me any break in between but just keep overlapping. 

But all these are much much more in control now, especially after I'm with my husband. 

I'm so happy now and I will cherish. 

With no stress, I even start eating more veg and fruits now, surprising but I will crave for them sometimes.. 

I have more energy and more love to show too! ;)

The incident on our 1st day in Cambridge.

Saw this picture and it immediately reminds me of the terrible mistake Churchill College made on our 1st day of arrival, 21 Sept 2012.

We took a coach from London Airport to Cambridge City Centre,

from Cambridge City Centre we took a cab to Churchill College,

then from Churchill College, Hubby asked the cab to wait at the Porter's Lodge for him to sign and get our apartment keys. 

He got the keys and the cab drove us to Wolfson's Flats, we paid and the cab left. 

Then we had some difficulties searching for our unit after getting out of the cab, really super blur as everything looks super foreign to the both of us, and with all the luggage also quite irritating lah.

After like 15 - 20min of searching, we finally found our unit. 

Its at 2nd level so we got to climb the stairs (it is expected as we're already told when we were in SG), but it's still quite a nightmare because we got total of 60kg, 2 huge and 2 small baggage to carry up.. 

Hubby did most of the work, carry all the baggage up... then we roll all of it to outside F50, our unit (shown on the picture above).

Then Hubby tried to open the door with the keys given earlier at the Porter's Lodge, 

AND IT DOESN'T WORK. 

It was getting dark, cold and windy. 

We didn't wear enough because we didn't know it can be THAT COLD at night with the killer wind.

Quite a nightmare and Hubby was like "WHAT??!! SHUXXX!!" 

We didn't wanna believe the key doesn't work, so we both just keep trying to open the door with the keys (got 2 keys, both doesn't work), walking around looking at all the other unit number and to confirm if the one we tried to open was 50. (damn cartoon lah lol)

Then really bo bian, Hubby had to walk all the way back to Porter's Lodge (15min) to get the right keys, and me waiting outside our unit with all the baggage. It was SOOOO cold and windy.. I can't believe we're lock outside our house.. =.=" 

At that time we were very unfamiliar with the entire place, just took cab from Porter's Lodge to Wolfson's Flat and now must walk back to Porter's Lodge was definitely a nightmare to us on our 1st day..

Then Hubby finally got the right keys and we manage to go in.. the one given previously was our neighbour's keys =.=. 

PS: Now that we're much familiar with this place the Porter's Lodge are consider near to us already. lol. 

And even though I keep saying here is cold, but I love it cold! 

I really hate the feeling of perspiring and stickiness..

Everytime I recall how hot and humid SG is, I tell myself to cherish the "cold time" I have here and don't focus so much on the food! :)

Then when I'm back in SG, I will focus more on the food and not the weather. 做人要知足！

Nana bake her first cookies!

Been wanting to bake for soooooooooo damn long ever since I was little, when I see my cousin baking cookies at home.

Gave up the idea when I return to 148 and stay, because there is no oven for baking..

Then when me and Hubby just got together, he knew that when I'm nua-ing at home, I can no need eat one so he bought me one toaster oven, for me to make lazy meal when I'm at home..

Many times I told him I wanna bake cookies, but didn't really make it because thinking of all the equipment and stuff I need to buy just kinda turn me off.. lol.

And now that I've all the free time, with a big oven in our apartment.. How can I not bake! I'm like suddenly poisoned by the cookie thoughts! I found a recipe online, wrote down all the things I need to buy on a piece of paper and pooof! I walk all the way to City Centre and buy all the stuff needed at one go!

Walk 3-4Hours with this heavy bag is no joke.. 

11.50am I left house, reached CC at 12.30pm..

Meet Hubby for lunch.. 

Then went to Poundland, spend like 1 and 1/2 hour shopping in there, get most of the equipments needed for my baking and grab some xmas decos as well. Everything for 1pound ($2SGD), very hard to resist!

By this time the bag already quite heavy and bulky.. 

Walk 15min to Saint'sbury to get the remaining baking equipment and some baking ingredients (mixing bowl, flour, brown sugar, baking powder, chocolate chips etc), spend around 40min getting all these. 

Then I couldn't tahan the load anymore so I quickly stop looking around and go home, spend another 40min walking home.

I estimate I walked for like 4hours, with at least 3hours holding on to this heavy bag!

How the hell did I manage, the cookie thoughts were really powerful!

BUT I know I definitely won't do it if I'm in SG, because it will be freaking hot and I will perspire like shit!

Over here the weather is dry and so cold nowadays, walking so much makes me feel warm.. but the heavy load also kind of killed me lah.. lol. 

All the loots! 

After seeing this picture I thought that its all worthwhile.. lol. 

Mixing mixing... without the electric mixer. 

Burn some fats and earn the cookies!

Hubby say looks like famous amos kind lol.

My chocolate chips cookies! Taste good leh! 

Look at his satisfied face haha!

I made total 35 cookies for my first attempt.

Voting for Police Commissioner

Today Hubby have to go somewhere to do voting for police commissioner in our area.. 

I bet he also don't know who to vote for lor, he also don't know who is who lol.. 

I asked him if voting means PH (like SG), he said no as everyone is still in school today.. 

Its been almost 2 months here but yet to have any PH.. 

In SG we still complain not enough PH lol.. XD 

But we're looking forward to the Winter Holiday (21 Dec - 2 Jan)!

I guess in SG, holidays are spread through out the year..

And here, they bundle it together for students to have longer holidays.. 

Colourful & Beautiful

I really love Cambridge. It's so beautiful, peace and safe. 

Exploring maps. 

Bought the Edinburgh one at 1.99pounds, very good and detailed map, small and handy too!

Check out the Singapore Map at the 7th row :D, I am so familiar with it! Hehe.

Furry Boots! 

Left one 15pounds (leather for slightly wet weather + some fur at the ankle area for warmth), 

Right one 5pounds (for warmth). 

Both are from Primark, very COMFY! 

The foot wear here are so comfy (and cheap!) I can walk a lot without feeling any pain!

Hubby have been coughing quite badly recently.. 

Seen the doctor and she says its just virus and should heal by itself within 2-3weeks, 

she didn't give him any medicinee but told him to use home remedies like honeylemon drinks to boost the recovery.. If didn't recover by 2 weeks then go back and see her. 

The consultation is free, but medicine is not. So if she gave Hubby medicine, he will need to pay for the medicine.. So I suppose she is not trying to save money or resources by not giving him any medicine..

 I went to market street today to buy more lemons, wanting to prepare more honeylemon drinks for him.. :)

Saw the mini clementine oranges so fresh and looks so cute, so bought one bag too haha. :D

Our dinner last night. 

Actually nothing special, just Bak Ku Teh, Stir Fry Potato and Egg..

But Hubby was like "Take one picture", I think he is proud that we can make our own dinner together. :)

Saw this today... So cheap and really is MEGA ART SET..

• 48 x colour pencils
• 48 x jumbo markers
• 48 x fine line markers 
• 60 x oil pastels, 
• 24 x watercolour pencils 
• 1 x palette 
• 18 x watercolour paints 
• 3 x HB Pencils 
• 3 x paint brushes
• 1 x water bottle 
• 2 x erasers 
• 2 x sharpeners

258 Piece for 9.99pounds ($20SGD).

It's super cheap lor! But also super bulky..still thinking if I should get it..

If I get this, I am going to do a handmade card for his Birthday! Hehehehe.

Other than that, I don't know what else I can do with this... so...should I get or not? Hmmm...

X Factor USA 2012

I've been following and watching this X Factor series because one of the judge was my teenage idol, Britney Spears! She's soooo different now, like a mature and motherly judge. I'm glad she is back. :D

It's TOP 12 now! 

Carly Rose and Jennel Garcia are my favourite contestant, both young (especially Carly) but with great voice and charisma on stage. Wooh! 

My favourite video of them.. 


I love her style at the audition. 


This is really so good.. I've been listening to this again and again and again..

A part of me..

This is going to be a super long post, with the most detailed summary I can come out with of my middle and high school life..

I was a bubbly girl who love to approach people to make friend with me.. I played monkey bars, and my primary school form teacher use to complain to my Dad that I was a chatter box, a distraction to my classmates. 

I had 2 female best friends when I was in Primary School, Z & H. We were really close friends and have endless topic to talk about in school.

But my family were very strict then, I'm not allow to join any activities after school, so 3 of us would only meet when we were in school. I remembered having a lot of lovely time with them, the laughter and jokes we had, the games we played. I was happy, brave and innocent, all until P came into our group. And that was the biggest mistake of my life, hanging out with her and let her into my life. 

I can't really remember how P came into our group.. But my nightmare begins after she is in the same class with me and joined my group of friends, when we were Primary 5. 

Everything changed in one school holiday. 

I remembered waking up feeling excited to meet my friends in school after so long (as I couldn't meet them during the holiday).

When I reached the school assembly hall, I waved strongly at Z with a big smile, she looked at me for 2 second and avoided eye contact. I felt strange but thought that maybe she didn't see me so I called out to her and did the big wave big smile thing again at her, and she ignored me. 

I felt strange, wondering what happened..is she angry at me?

Then I go to H, and tap her on her shoulder, said Hello with a light smile, and she also ignored me and walk away.. 

At this point the weird and strange feelings immediately turned into worries.. Worry that I may have done something wrong to piss off my best friends.. 

But I never thought it could get this serious..

So I stood there for awhile trying to figure out what happen, they both (Z & H) talks to P as if nothing  happened.. I went over to them wanting to join them, but before I could say anything..they walked away.  

Then soon I realized that everyone in the class are ignoring me except the boys.. 

The boys in class have completely no idea what is happening, they still talks to me and they didn't know something was going on.. until they saw me standing alone at the back of the class queue. 

I remembered one of the boy asked me,
"What's wrong with you and them?", 

and I was like,
"I wish I know". 

It seems as though P have replaced me to be with Z & H, and brought M into the group (another girl in class).

So 4 of them became the "best friend", 

Z & H became the Followers, 

M became the Spoke Person 

and P become the Master Mind of everything.

Then the bully begins.. 

I became the hitting target during PE when playing poison ball.

I was the target of being mock at.

They hide my bags and uniform. 

Write nasty things on my diary.

Waited for me at the back gate just to mock and shame me.. 

I always walk home via school back gate because its nearer.. Cos of this, I was so depressed I had to use the front gate and walk a longer route home just to avoid them.. 

Brainwash/Threaten people who wanna be my friend..

There's this 1 Malay girl in class, Aisha. She was the only one who was willing to be my friend then, and was threatened by her friends that if she continue talking to me then she will have no friends either. How can 11 years old be that Evil? 

Call me names..

This was never ending..  

They always try to bring me down, because I am who I am. 

There was one point Z came to me and apologize, sounded like she wanna be friend with me again. But walk away from me again after I accepted her apology. My heart just dropped, and I told myself not to trust any of them again, EVER.

Both Z & H really broke my heart.. Even though they did not mock me directly like what M and P did.. They remained silent to everything and watch me suffers from all these.

For a long time I didn't know how to deal with it and cry myself to sleep every night.. 

Thinking what have I done to them? 
Thinking why they hate me so much? 
How did P convince them to leave me? 
And they did it during the holiday when I wasn't allow to go out? 

I was helpless I even faked sick in order to escape from school. 

Nobody knows what I was going through, not even my family. 

But thanks to them, 
with so much time being alone, 
I studied a lot.

I did well for my PSLE and got 1st in Class. It means a lot to me then, because I have no friends. This little achievement are what bring strength to me.. and my grandma were so proud of me..

Time flies, 2 years of being alone..

They turned the happy, trusting and bubbly girl into someone who only believe in herself and choose her friends wisely. 

And I thought that everything will end when I go to Secondary School.. But it didn't. 

P and H went to the same Secondary School with me.

And P freaking same class with me again. =.="

She bitch about me behind my back as soon as she can, in order to grab as many friends as she can to side her.

Its funny how I can make one friend today, tomorrow this friend just stop talking to me. I promise I'm not exaggerating, this is how powerful her bitching can be. 

I don't really bother to explain the misconceptions those new classmates have about me due to P's bitching, because I am soo tired of everything after 2 years of defending myself for friends. 

I stop thinking about making long term friends.. I basically just talk to anybody sitting beside me, if they refuse to talk, I will just shut up. 

And then I realized I can click better with boys, because they don't really care about all those bitching, they just want to talk and laugh and crap in class, and so am I! 

Then one day I met J, who I thought have been brainwashed tap my shoulder and said "HELLO!" in a enthusiastic voice. I said Hi back and thought to myself "This must be another trap". 

Long story cut short.. J heard a lot of bad things about me from P but decided to judge for herself.. J is a sweet bubbly girl with huge sense of humour, she is so funny and she is also very popular among the girls in school. When she befriended me, suddenly I start to have more female friends.. She ask me to join her for recess, (after eating alone at the dark corner underneath the staircase for freaking 2 years) I agreed and went with her..

I started to join J's group of friends, which also include P and H. 


I was afraid of long school holidays.. 

Each time I'm back from long school holidays, I will prepare myself for the worst.. 

But J didn't let it happen. She calls me a lot during long school holidays and keep me updated with whatever is going on. My Dad sometimes whack me for the 电话粥 lol.

P continue to bitch about me in front of J, among the group. 

I know it because J told me about it sometimes.. J seems to be treating me as her best friend, she always come to me whenever she needs to talk. She came to my house to hang out and stayed overnight before. We would do the "sisters" thing, have the same bag, same hair, write letter to each other and hold hands. 

I've never betrayed her with her secrets and really care about her, but I know I never told her mine and never will.. there're a lot of me she didn't know, and I think she can feel that I didn't open up to her.. 

Then I met T. A girl who was put in a similar situation as me.. 

She had some misunderstandings with X (her best friend), and ended up being boycotted. 

And J was part of this, she told people not befriend T because she sided X. 

I remembered one day everyone was walking to some place after telling T off and abandon her..  

I ran to find T (with another girl who was quite neutral), 
T was crying while walking home, and I told her I will be her friend if she had none..

She came to my house after that, and we started hanging out a lot.

J had quite a huge problem with me then, telling me to stop hanging out with T.. but I didn't listen.

So ended up its just ME & T all the time.. cos we had no other friends. We became really close, even closer than me and J.. Close until I was afraid I will lose her. 

I wanted to make her look "prettier" because she had low self-esteem, so I asked her to keep long hair and I remembered helping her to tie a Reaaallly short ponytail. :)

We talk anything under the sun, talk about our future together, our crush.. We study together for our exams, We went to gym together, We get crazy over korean dramas we even nickname ourselves with the same name as the korean actress in our favourite drama lol. 

She hang out a lot with me after school by coming over to my house (cos I can't go out), and she call my Grandma "Ah Ma" just like me, and have seen my Dad a few times. 

We kept a journal together (which I kept until recently), we will write in the journal and reply to each other back and forth. We write all the crap and shit in it, her always changing 小情人 and my repeatedly mentioned senior crush. 

She was kind of like my "Support" at that time, and I felt that she needed me too. Somehow, she makes me open up to her and taught me how to trust again..

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But good things don't last.. 

after 2-3 years of leaving both Me & T alone, her friends started showing up again.. 

They started to talk to T, started to befriend her again..

I was confused, and also guilty of being upset. 
It was suppose to be something great for her, 
like hey she finally have friends! 
I know I should be happy for her..

But I wasn't really happy..
even though I told her I was. 

I can't help but felt like I can't trust her anymore..

She started hanging out with them more, but also told me she'd love to hang out with me sometimes..

She didn't betrayed me, she was a good friend. 

I was the one who walked away.. 


Then me and J started hanging out a lot again after I know T had her friends.. and things just fall back to its original..


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I had a crush with a senior in school, P claim that she liked him first. 

I remember I really quite like this guy and the crush lasted 3 years. 

I call this guy almost every single day, I guess P did too. I remember there was once, I wanted to talk to him about P and told him about the things I've been through.. he didn't believe.  

The worst thing this guy had ever told me was,

"P is going through quite a tough patch right now. You don't understand.. you know why I don't like you? Because you are not vulnerable." 

This damn guy freaking broke my heart thousand million times back then.. I'm like love but hate him at the same time, I'm glad it didn't work out in the end.. I kind of thank him for making me strong too. 


I graduated from my Secondary School with many friends, but trusted None.


After we graduated, J was the only one that calls me and initiate for meet up and gatherings.. I went once and met T as well. I felt quite foreign around them because we don't really have things to talk about after like..2 years? 

I felt really sorry that I couldn't trust J and open up to her, I don't even remember telling her what happen between me and P because she probably heard another version from P. 

It is hard when she is also mixing with P & H.. and I don't want her to be in a difficult position where she need to choose between me or P.. So I kind of gave up and walk away.. again.



Many people I know misses their Secondary School life, but I don't..

My ITE & Polytechnic life was the best student life I've had.


T & J were nice to me.. I let them slipped away from my life, and until today I still tell myself everything happen for a reason.. 

The Norms

I remember many times in SG, when Hubby wanna hug me or kiss me in the MRT or some public places, I will always jokingly tell him "Don't want lah later tio STOMP how". 

It is like becoming part of our daily life that we're so aware of our actions in public, lots of secret cameras around ready 24/7 to capture all the "odd moments" to be put up for judging, gossiping, and sometimes to make a big fuss about.

So in a way also kind of tell everyone that we have a behavior range that says "behave the same as majority" else you may be the next victim.. 

Sometimes people just take nonsense video and upload it to SHAME someone because they think is funny.. (Which sometimes is not...)

Sometimes people think that they should record the person face to "Punish" their wrong doing.. (or threaten them that their face will be seen worldwide...)

But to me this is not Punishment but more of Humiliating, and being revengeful.. 

We're like feeding the negative with more negativity.. its never ending. 

.................................................................................................................


When can we start to show more love to each other and be more positive?

The Secret Blog

In the past many of my emotions are kept inside of me, I divert it in all forms. Through music, through dance, through gym practice, through animals, through boyfriends, through strangers and through blogging it out.

All thanks to School Bullies. (long story, maybe i'll write about it some other day)

I never let any girl into my life to share all my secrets ever since.  I'm not willing to open up fully (because each time I do I regretted), and I don't know how to hug a girl who is around my age and call her my best friend, I just can't.  

And that is why I started blogging..

Because I need something out of my chest, to keep me strong, to makes me feels like I am talking to somebody and someone care. Because I want to keep memories of what I want to remember. 

I love to blog, but I find it hard to express myself in words sometimes, words that truly meant what I want to mean, words that people won't misunderstand, its hard.

I kept a blog since I was in ITE (17).. But I deleted it several times because I hate it when people try to judge me by what I wrote and got so angry I just deleted the whole thing..

Then after sometimes, I feel that I need to start another blog again because I need a place to talk, a place to reflect.. Being someone quite 被动 and don't really trust, I need signs for my many decision making.

So since 2007 August, I kept a blog and it was kind of public at first because I let my friends know the link. But after that incident I decided its best not to let just anyone reads about me and my life.. 

I changed the url, no one knows the url.. except one person, one person who I am willing to call my best friend and is a "HE". (I really have a certain fear in girls which until now is still not really resolved.)

So I let him read about me, because I believe he is so not involve in my life that he can be of any threat to me or be able to betray me in any way.. I believe he will never leak any of my secrets out because he doesn't know my friends. 

And the biggest reason is because he is the only guy that stays with me unromantically, yes only as a friend and he is the only person who watched me grow and had never judged me but have given me so much support and help in my decision making (when I was struggling with what I want to do, he gave me directions and supported it.)

I still remembered how all my friends around me were going "Huh...? you sure about it..?" with my 1300/mth hotel job, making me feel kinda demoralized and somehow..shameful?

But he knows, he knows that this is what I want to do at that point of time and whether or not I will stick to it, I have to try it before I can decide. I'm really thankful for that, the working experience I have with GPCH have been part of who I become today.. believe it or not I met people whom inspired me over there, incredible people whom I invited to my Wedding even after we kind of lost contact for almost 2 years. They came, and celebrated, and it felt amazing knowing that my life have these wonderful people.

Not forgetting the satisfaction I gain from all these experiences.. I know what I want in life better and have a clearer vision of my future. I'm happy despite sometimes complaining about work when it gets uptight. 

I'm happy overall.

From 1300 to 2200 in 1 year 2 months, becoming someone who can speak confidently and knows how to appreciate the good things make me a content and happy person. I remembered having a desk of my own when I started in Huhtamaki was quite a big hoo-haa to me, when everyone else just take it for granted. 

I can only say many things that I went through, I'm thankful for those experiences because I love who I am now. 


My this best friend ever wondered why my blog no longer have tag board or commenting system then.. (i saw him wrote on his blog)

It is because you are the only one reading my dear..


And yes.. this best friend is my Husband, best friend for 7 years. The one who walk with me for 7 years, guided me when I was lost and celebrated with me when I succeeded.

- when all local polytechnic rejected me and finally got myself a place in RP. 

- when I'm kinda stuck with my school work. Went through my worksheet for Enterprise together via MSN 1 night before my exam.

- when my Dad objected my dream job and he suggested I did something similar, in Hotel. 

- the happy struggles in GPCH, with 12 hours shift. (We really enjoyed my day off then, cause it was so precious.)

- the horrible Fullerton. when I'm so scared to go to work and he can't bear to send me there. He brought me to somewhere else that day, I remembered that was a wonderful break from work. 

- the job search and interviews. (he went through interviews with me and practice with me sometimes)

and many more moments especially with my complicated family and the struggle I have in NUH before landing myself in a better and more suitable job in Huhtamaki.. 

If anyone ask me what is the best decision I've ever made, it will be me willing to let him into my life. The one who never judge me no matter how weird I become, the one who loves me for who I am.

So now I feel much better, I have a blog to share my views and happy moments which I am proud of with everybody, and a blog where I can really say whatever I want and do self-reflection without anyone judging me. (At the same time allow my husband to better understand me) :)


PS' Going to prepare and go Hubby's office for their Happy hour. Cheerios! ;)

Good lesson learnt.

Always change the currency to your own country before booking anything online. Because if you require any refund, yes they refund exact same amount to you..

You paid 500USD, they will refund you 500USD..

BUT, the bank will eat your money with it's stupid exchange rate system and somehow you can't get back your full 500USD..

This is what happen to our Paris booking... we decided to cancel it because we wanted to visit Edinburgh first then Paris for our Anniversary and we thought Free Cancellation meaning we get back every penny but no... not so simple because we forgot about the exchange rate system.

And really don't know we're lucky or suay...I found out that Hubby made Triple booking of the room and only manage to cancelled once, because he didn't know that he booked 3 times as it didn't went through the previous two times due to errors. 

But luckily my sixth sense made me go to our HSBC internet banking to check the transaction history, and I almost stop breathing when I saw 3 transaction made to hotels.com because I knew it was that Paris error bookings. Shit.

I told Hubby about it and he went to call up the Hotels.com and manage to do cancellation for all the Paris bookings... but we lost 30pounds due to stupid bank's exchange rate..

We should have used sterling pounds currency to make the bookings! :(